[Vanhackspace] Last Night's Meeting

[Joe Bowser]

The fact of the matter is that I was singled out, and that for the rest of
the meeting my ability to participate in the meeting was compromised.  It's
further compromised by your sheer and utter lack of taking any
responsibility for the meeting.  The reason that I sent it out to the list
is that we were ALL at fault for the way that meeting went, and at the end I
felt the most disempowered.  Instead you quote documents and platitudes
instead of actually addressing the fact that there was someone that at the
end was disempowered.  Of course, it's a straight white male, so who the
fuck cares, right?

I agreed that my comment about the reporter was sexist, and that was fine.
The problem is that I didn't feel it was resolved and I felt that it was and
STILL IS behind held over my head.  The fact that this incident sets the
tone for the space is a very dangerous precident indeed.  The fact is that
now I will now forever have be on the defensive because of one minor
mistake, constantly waiting for someone else to fuck up so I can pownce on
them is not healthy.  A space where we can't be free to make mistakes is a
space that I don't want to be in.

Eventually Jeff took over the facilitation role, while I was ready to pack
up and leave because I was unhappy with the fact that it was near impossible
to participate without yelling over other people.  What happened at that
meeting was not consensus, it was a small mob calling the shots.

Case in point, when people talked about minutes being open vs closed, it was
clear that it was getting far out of hand that I had to out-yell people to
even participate in the conversation.  Shane, you were the dominant person
in the conversation, and halfway through I gave up on the consensus process,
and proceeded to pack up.  I think it was evident by my lack of
participation, the comment I made about standing aside on all decisions past
a certain point, and my general demeanour past a certain point that I was no
longer interested in participating in the meeting.  Some people wish the
space to be open to all, and to be a welcoming, inclusive space, and some
want to form a cadre.

I'm only going to attend meetings when absolutely necessary.  Meetings
should not be what the space is about in the first place, and it's clear
that these meetings have zero room for mistakes.  If you make a mistake,
then you're fucked and you might as well leave.  Thats the message that I'm
getting from this.

Joe
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